Saturday, November 28, 2009


[NOTE : I'll be using "real" and "fake" a lot. Regret for the inconvenience and possible boredom!!]

I may not be making any specific point here, but I think that this must resonate with everyone's life!!

Before anything, I need to define my scope of "real" here.
The "real" that I am talking about would comprise of things and people around
you who you know are there with you i.e there's "seems" to be a "genuine bond"
between these entities and you.

When I say, "seems", I think I have already blurred the existence of something real.
So, for now, I say "real" means the state of these entities as it has turned out to be,
in your interactions with these entities, till now or whatever period of time
you've shared.

It, hence, also means, that it is subject to change if you are still interested in knowing
how the state would change or just in the entity.
( :) )

Now, what if the things you think of as real, don't exist?
It may not be of any value, in case you don't give a shit because you've predicted it well
or whatever the reason is.
But, if you do give a shit, simply because you have to survive with them or may be because
you hope to have a healthy environment around you; you like to establish some kind of acquaintance, which luckily, sometimes, ripens over time and it feels so "real".

But, what if the most real thing turns out to be fake??To what extent would you go to
consider it real??

Take the face value of things?? And pray that your beliefs hold right and you don't get betrayed??
Or, Decide in your mind that you'll follow the "blindly believe" concept for once at least
and see what happens. (The above two sound quite the same I think).

Or, take time to weigh things carefully??
But, how long would that be before you decide on the "real" value of something because
life has to go on and sooner or later, that'll have to be done and somewhere, as far as my
experience of first twenty years of my life goes, that value is to be found at least
tentatively or you get stuck in the "who is who??" game.

As a result, you may not be happy even if the happiness comes in the course of
considering in genuine things to be genuine and while this period of hide and seek lasts,
either your dream gets over or you become blindly vulnerable by the time the big jolt
may smash you in the heart and the head!! And then, who do you turn to??
The fake or the "really fake"!!

But, as you are not aware if it's genuine or not; so should you, base your happiness on
something that even you are not sure of??

And in case, your formidable trust gets shaken??
You based your happiness on something out of the blue!!
How do you now get out of the blue??
The fake sure was fake and the real too, turns out to be fake??

Knowing these facts, one may decide not to enter such streets, but since life is not just about channeling the traffic in one street, what if unknowingly, unintentionally you
tread on this territory and return back having paid a huge cost - Vulnerability,
broken trust, disbelief...Guess life becomes scarier sometimes with bitterness added...

May be that's why they say, "Life is the greatest teacher"..or at least I say it!!

[Can't think anymore right now. Hence, the abrupt end!]

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Confusing choices!!

Now, this's a situation every 2nd year engineering student must have faced....
Which laptop to buy???
My 2 bros did and I am following in their footsteps..Quite a sis, huh!!
My budget is around Rs35,000/- and I need a laptop. Don't exactly konw what should be its main features from the point of view of a 'budding' engineer...(Good lord!! 'budding' sounds so boring..used it several times in Press club!!! :| ), in case you know what these fetaures are, do let me know:)

Please suugest some good laps as I want it desperately....and if there are any new schemes coming up that may help me get more with small know what to do:)

My back aches sitting in front of my PC..I wanna read books in the comfort of my room..e-books I mean..and I can't stand the heat of the computer room...and I AM BIG ENOUGH TO HAVE A LAPTOP FOR MYSELF:)
Ya, you can laugh but you all have been through this phase or will go through it!!!

Well, you can also suggest some 'technical' reasons to buy a laptop as my parents won't be convinced with the above reasons (obviously, I haven't mentioned these to them. So, shhhh!!!!)

Also, there'll be projects and stuff coming up and eveytime I can't have the PC in college...after all...lappy is lappy!! There could be a more effective way of expressing the same. Hoping for some 'explanation' help from the elder people:)

To help me help my parents speed up the process, kindly suggest good technical reasons and any schemes you may be aware of. Who knows, the combination may work wonders and I finally get to see my much desired laptop:)

Please help the needy!!!!
hoping for good suggestions:)

Monday, June 8, 2009

Lucknow Times

Finally, I have managed some time to write down about my great Lucknow experience.

It was a stay from 19May to 31May...just enough days to pack sweet memories..:)
Well this time was different as I had not been there for the past four years...full of fun and surprises...
Lucknow now,at least to a person visiting after 4 years, has changed a hell lot...Not just because of bricks and mortar in the form of malls but also the look of the city...well developed and lit roads, the stone architecture to give the city a Rome type look, as they say...
In the pic, one can see a combination of white and blue lights..each blue light, as the facts go cost around 2,50,000Rs.
Now, coming back to the malls, Dada (my elder bro) and I went to the Fun Republic the very first day, sat in a pub, had beer ;)
Well, the beer tasted "yuk!!" but I got to know that it's had for the "FEELING" not for the "taste"!! Hmmmm!!!! Got it Dada:)

I also ate a new type of chicken(chicken made in a different way) at KFC=Kentaki Fried Chicken...The crust was toooooo good...but inside there wasn't any masala:(...Also had Xinger burger=burger with one crisp Chicken slice..mmmmmmmmmm..yummmmm!! AWESOME!!! I had it with cheese!!!
Ya okay, I'll cut down my calories from now!! :)

Coming back to the house now, everyday we (Ayush=my younger bro, Dada and I) toyed with Dada's laptop, listened to his collection of amazing songs, watched movies, tv-series like The Big bang theory, South park..:)

And then at night, we'd go on terrace to catch the cool breeze...believe me it was way cooler than Jaipur...One fine night, Dada and I climbed up the 4th storey of the house...terrace's the third and there's a room and a bathroom built on it. So you can call it the fourth storey...It felt soooo good and cool..above the world and peaceful....
Just the yesternight, Dada and I, had had loads of chit chat on a worn out 'khaat'...God knows how it survived the both of us cz the following night, Rakesh (works for the family) who's thinner than both of us, fell on the floor while he was trying to be comfortable on the 'khaat' :)

Since the house is under heavy renovation these days, 'thak thak' n 'zoooooooooo' are quite common sounds in the household. Discussions over room colours, beds etc. were a routine and are still may be..

The whole experience was wonderful from going to the market with mum in the rickshaw to the windy Pulsar rides with Dada:)

One day, Dada and I had gone to a bookstore strolling. I had just casually said "yaha koi autobigraphies nahi hai kya?"
Anyways, on the early morning of 1st june, when the packed bags were finally being brought downstairs, Dada came in, giving me a book saying "Try reading this......since u asked for it"...

The book was The Discovery of India by Pandit Jawaharlal Nehru
and I was like:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)::):):):):):):):):)::):):):):):):):):):):):):):)..could just say Thank you...
Thanx bro...
This was the sweetest surprise and the best moment of all the twelve days.

In memory of my dear watch...

Huh!!! I am so sad...yesterday was our first day in college after bunking and holidays and all....and also the day when I lost my girls' washroom....I can't believe girls can be like this....

I had taken it out to wash my hands..and I didn't keep it in my bag but near the washbasin...(silly me!!) and I forgot to pick it..(even more stupid!!)...and then I and my friends were sitting in this place when I felt like watching the time...n I pull my sweater and.........................................GONE is my watch!!

I hurried to the loo...but ofcourse as expected it wasn't there.....

So, assuming that the person who took it isn't genuine, I have lost my watch....n hence this article....

I had it for the last 3-3.5 years...and we had such a good time together....I'd wear it to my school and now college....It always gave the right time as I'd get the battery changed at the right time......We gave so many exams together....been to so many parties together....and it always wanted me to be punctual...which I never have been till now....but may be I will ....(I'll take it as it's last wish.....).....

That watch was a gift from my friends, actually, but I had bought it...and I just received 1/5 money for that....

All this doesn't matter the watch is gone...and I'm trying to convince mum to buy another wasn't costly but I liked it a lot...

All I have left now are the memories...... enough to spend my whole life without it.....


I can't write any more.....



Confused and aguished...but who cares

I have no idea what the hell's been going on.

I feel like an idiot sometimes who can watch things around her but helpless about doing anything to improve it.

First the Mumbai blasts...and its aftermath...I had nothing to write about it...wat cud I possibly write...may b give a few facts that people already know...or may be express my anguish over the anyone's geting bothered...atleast the people who should be aren't....

And then...we have the Home Minister's resignation....strangely enough...their conscience awakes at the time of if his resignation would awaken the conscience of terrorists...

And then..this recent death of Enginner Manoj Gupta...brutal and I sound like our pathetic politicians...well may be I do....

That's all we can do n shut up after a while..n perhaps get used to the corruption and dictatorship of these sucking .....I don't know...for the first time I feel like I should have known more slangs....

But ...would that be of any use??!!!

I may not know anything about what should be done but somewhere I do know there's a way out....we need to look in the right direction...but again do I know that direction?? NO!!

We are preparing for war with external enemies when in fact there's so much to be fought against here inside our own god-damn system...ya I know what's the problem...but I don't know the solution...Am I being repetitive...??May be...That's possibly a politicians job....may be I should enter politics....I'll form a good sucking politician...if at all we need anymore of them...there are so many of them already....



May be today....every citizen who cares even a little bit about what's going around him is as confused and somewhere bothered about where exactly are we heading...???

Heaven knows what I wrote in the above lines....utter crap perhaps...but that's how I feel and that's how things are probably....



Take care..

Daru nahi Doodh ke saath nav varsh ki Shubhkamnaye....


Happy New Year to all of you!!!!

On 31st dec.,08 , mum baked cake. Pineapple and Vanilla mix. Yummmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Then, I had noodles for my dinner....!!!!!!!!!Yum!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

N now I am writing this post....

N studied a little bit...In case u r my college friend, you won't lyk it....sorry guys!!! Wink

How did u guys celebrate the New share...

In my neighbourhood, there's been this custom, I guess 1 year old, of celebrating New Year by delivering free of cost kaju-pista milk on New Year. You can have it free of cost.

I was just passing by these milk stalls and recorded some part of the watch it. In the background you can hear anti-daru slogans....!!

That's pretty cool....

Happy New Year once again...

Thursday, April 23, 2009


The second semester has already started and so have studies, in college at least..My studies haven't. Every day I feel like I'll start from today, but it doesn't seem to happen...

Can anyone please give me tips to feel motivated and start studying after taking exams that went horribly wrong to the extent that I don't wanna think about the result which is 6,7 months away, anyway...
What do you do when there's so much to do but u feel like doing nothing??

It's such a messy situation..College's great but studies nowhere...I don't really like this combination..
It should be Great studies, great college time and it falls in place in my mind...

Well, I hope I begin from today...


Saturday, April 11, 2009


Now this stuff is competely imaginative....

Nothing of this sort has EVER happened with me....

I was just thinking something, and then thought of

writing it down..

Being in a relationship, (Reminder: which I hv never been in),

there may arise situations where one might feel throttled,

suffocated or even humiliated because of their partner's

attitude, reasons of which could be many...

I was just wondering, what should one do in such situations???

When you feel so throttled, so disrespected and may be

neglected even for a brief period of time and it just leaves you

wondering where are you heading??

Where's the realtionship going??

When you just hate the person you love the most, leaving you in


minds...whether to end it or give it a second chance??

End it beacuse u were disrespected..even if it was owing

to some misunderstanding..why the hell did it creep in..

things must have been sorted out first...

or a second chance cz "to err is human"...that's just an excuse..

the real reason being u really love the person....

n also telling yourself,in fact warning yourself, if anything like this

happens again, u would be going for the biggest decision of ur life

and somewhere inside, hoping, that it doesn't happen cz u

won't b able to do that....

So, what does it weakens you....????

or it gives you different perspectives just to avoid harsh decisions

cz harsh decisions would take their toll on you so u prefer

taking the easy road...forgive and forget...??

or may be it's an individual's choice...I may look at it in whatever

way I want to..but that person knows what he/she is doing....

But what's better..?? parting on amicable terms rather than

dragging a relationship reminnding yourself of all the 'good' times

u have had together so it breathes new life into u

and hopefully ur relationship...??

hoping everything will b alright..n dat it takes time for things

to get normalized again...

n spending every single day of ur life from then on, to bring about a

fresh, haappy change in the state of things...

Whatever it might be, nothing can

work wonders if there's no mutual roads

don't work here i guess....

[to be continued....]

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