When you reach an impasse, that's when you're doomed.
I fear the same with me.
In a time of no denial(and I mean that), what upsets me is lack of something....or may be somethings....
It's the craving of getting back to who you were in the first place while trying to trace back all the hell that made you reach where you are....some take me by surprise, some by anger(hell lot actually), some reminding that sometimes, however cautious you may be, it's just too soon to invest your energies somewhere.....
There's an ever conflicting self that never dies(thankfully) but makes you realize that as unexpected as it was, in moments of fragilities and vulnerabilities, circuit of your brain is the most impressionable...whether it kept shouting in your brain alerting you but you let your vulnerabilities subjugate it is another story...point is you did what you wouldn't have in a decent state of mind...
Not that I regret any of it but it seems that things around need more time to shape up than we think it may need to shape AND bake...
It's strange how life works...you may take years to know someone and they may turn out to be totally untrue to what you'd known them for and there are times when unexpectedly things fall into place...
I have always felt something innocent about befriending strangers...no Tom,Dick, Harry obviously..but sometimes you can tell who...it's a matter of chance...you'll realize to go far or not..
Somewhere I am so fucking bored of the faces that I truly and utterly despise, the sugar coated personalities and God knows how many volcanoes erupt in my head every time I think of each one in the lot....
I can't help thinking of many lame, stinky, pretentious relationships around me....
With strangers atleast you can hope for a fresh start even if it turns out to be the same crap in the end..
Rules of the game change and before you know it so has the team.
Good riddance!!
:)
